12. Re-programming Your Self-Talk

When one is faced with a challenge, a fearful situation, it is not common to react by talking to yourself and “commanding” yourself to overcome the fear and succeed on the challenge.  This is in fact, a proven effective method for overcoming fear.  One theory of addressing the fear is to enhance the individual’s concept of success.  When an individual is able to imagine and believe that he can be successful at a certain event, encounter or situation, then the fear can be overcome. 

There is one theory by a psychologist from Stanford University that overcoming fearful behavior can be addressed by self efficacy: the person’s belief that he can overcome his fear.  In effect, the person addresses fear by “talking” to himself and believing that he can overcome it.  There are various ways of convincing oneself or doing “self-talk” to overcome fear and are as follows:

Taking Action

An effective way of overcoming fear is to face the fear and interact with the fearful situation.  Most people, when they are able to act on their fears, successfully surpass them.  Taking action against one’s fears may involve live exposure, participation or practice.  Having successfully approached and touched a snake, even with aid and support, or having tolerated a session of intense exposure at a shopping mall by an agoraphobic, is very strong evidence that it can be done again. Seeing your ability to do those actions against your fear is self-effacing, and thus will help overcome your fear.

Shocking Experiences

Observing others perform a feared act provides a second source of self-efficacy and thus a way to overcome your own fear. Although seen by the patient as providing less clear evidence that the observer can perform similarly, these vicarious experiences can enhance efficacy expectations. Seeing multiple others that gradually, but with persistence, overcome their hesitations and are able to perform the feared act can create expectations in the observer that he or she can also perform the act.  Joining a bungee jumping activity for an altophobic can be self-effacing when the subject observes the rest of the group enjoying the jump and remaining alive and bruise-free after the experience.

Self-talk

Though the previous two experiences are means of talking to oneself, a direct verbal persuasion to overcome fear is effective as well.  The main objective of self-talk is to get you to initiate the process.  Note that there are some people who cannot be “talked out of their fears’” and so this method maybe weak, but as far as getting yourself to try, it is very effective. 

This technique requires practice and full understanding of oneself.  To be able to shut the world outside, including the cause of your fear and to talk to yourself and convince yourself to take the first step towards your fear is a skill that one should master through practice. 

The degree of success in self-efficacy with “self-talk” depends on the success of the first attempt.  A successful first attempt assures a clear path towards overcoming the fear.  While a failed first attempt does not immediately guarantee failure, it definitely does not immediately clear the path towards overcoming the fear, but may take longer and iterative to overcome it.

For a more effective “self-talk” support from others can reinforce the individual’s persistence to overcome their fear.

Emotional Arousal

The last source of efficacy expectations is how people observe their physiological reaction to fear.  When confronted with a fearful situation, the degree of fear and avoidance behavior that is shown may be partly a function of one's perception of the physical arousal that is experienced. If your heart races, you are likely to label yourself as afraid. On the other hand, if there is no physically arousal, then you are not afraid. Thus, the cues provided by yourself manifest your tolerance of the fearful situation.  Treatment, therefore, should focus on reducing physical arousal then can contribute to one's sense of self-efficacy. These include relaxation-based procedures, such as hypnosis, or breathing retraining are useful for managing physical arousal.  Drug treatments to reduce anxiety are also useful in this situation. 

The bottom line solution in overcoming one’s fear is talking to oneself.  Master the ability to reprogram yourselves when faced with a fearful situation and your life will never be overshadowed by fear again.

usti � n e �� x�� ph; line-height:200%'>Some studies show that genes may have a part in having phobias. Another reason can be that adults unknowingly teach their children to avoid or be fearful of something. Other studies have linked a part of the brain called amygdala in being responsible for the body’s response to fear.

Amygdala is a part of the human brain that connects memory with emotion. When in danger, the body sends signal to the amygdala, which then memorizes the fear associated with the object or situation and sets the body’s reaction. Scary experiences can create a fixed memory of fear, and the amygdala triggers an automatic reaction to the fear when a similar situation arises.

Fear is something that we really cannot control at most times. It is our body’s way of keeping us from danger. However, when these fears become irrational, which is phobia, they can have an impact on our lifestyle since phobias already interfere with our daily routines. If the fear seems to be really unreasonable already, one may even need to seek help in facing the fear and overcoming it.